Crocs Are Devil Shoes

I think I want to talk about fashion. I like to think that I’m a very fashionable person (haha, modesty, OUT the window you go! :P), but even I have limits as to what I wear and what I don’t TOUCH.

I don’t touch things like:

  • Crocs– I’m so sorry to all you croc lovers, but crocs are the fugliest thing I have ever laid eyes upon. It doesn’t matter that they are “comfortable” or “convenient” because those words DO NOT exist in fashion. EVERYONE knows that. The only thing for me justifies being made out of car tyres is… well, NOTHING I would EVER wear. They’re also insulting toward crocodiles. No matter how ugly crocodiles are, it is never nice to compare someone to something that resembles fluorescent Swiss cheese.

  • Trainers with miniskirts– Urgh, that is SO 2001. No-one does that anymore. If you are going to wear a cute miniskirt, at least have the decency to pair them with ballet flats, or even flip flops. Just not boots, unless you want to resemble Julia Roberts, circa Pretty Woman and attract unwanted attention, like so:

  • Fluorescent ¾ pants– Okay, I am so guilty of this. I used to love wearing these, oh, back in 2006? A particular pair I loved was blindingly lime green. My friend “A”, or Turban-Lady (as she is affectionately known) disliked me for those pants as she is more of a “sombre black clothes” person. Anyway, these don’t look good on anyone, unless you’re supermodel skinny (which I definitely am not. Bleee.)
  • The Shorts And Flip Flop Combo– Gah, I hate this with every fibre of my being. This is SO generic! Everyone wears these here! It annoys me so much, because the excuse is always, “It’s so hot! I don’t have the energy to wear anything else!” NOT TRUE people. And NOT a good enough excuse. What happened to light summery dresses? What happened to gladiator sandals? Alternatives EXIST, y’all.

In other news, I heard Paul The Octopus retired. RETIRED. Oh that made me laugh for at least five minutes. Whoever heard of an octopus retiring? HAHAHAHAHA.

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